Tribute

In 7th grade, I was asked to write an essay as part of some standardized testing.  The theme was essentially to be write about someone that I admired the most in the world.  As with most of my writing, I sit down, put my pencil to the paper (or fingers on the keys) and stare at the surface, waiting for inspiration to take hold, like staring at a pumpkin at Halloween trying to decide what to carve.  (If you've seen me at Halloween, then you know this to be true.)  You ask a 12 year old kid who they admire most in the world and you will get a litany of responses: celebrities, famous sports figures, political figures; the list goes on.  On that day, as I stared at the sheet of paper on my desk, sharpened pencil in hand, the person who I admired the most was simple.  It was my Uncle Dan.

My upbringing wasn't traditional.  I didn't have one set of parents.  In fact, I probably had a combination of 8-10 parents.  Mom and Dad were in and out of my life yet not forgotten, Grandma and Grandpa opened their home to me and taught me about family, hard work, empathy, and sacrifice.  Uncle Carl taught be about art and always reminded me to "Be good."  Uncle Earl taught me how to shoot hoops and let me hang out with him while he re-painted Grandpa's Truck in the back yard.  Aunt Virginia taught me to use my brain and the value of a dictionary.  Aunt Mary inspired me with her singing and taught me how to cook eggs.  They all taught and cared for me far more than this, but this are seemingly insignificant moments that have always remained ingrained in my mind.

As I sit here, shocked and saddened at the news of my Uncle Dan's unexpected passing, I am reminded of so many moments that I experienced with him. I remember seeing him and saying "Hey Uncle Dan!" and he would respond by calling me Uncle Frank.  I remember watching the final scene in Last of the Mohicans over and over again so that he could listen to "Promentory" by Trevor Jones and point out the goofs in the filming and compare some of the characters to members of our extended family. There were of course the times when he taught me about drawing in perspective, how to tie knots and make shelter in the woods, but there were moments in my life that meant a great deal more than that.  My earliest and most profound inspiration from him came from his decision to quit drinking.  I can't recall how many years he remained sober after making that decision, or exactly when the decision was made.  I just know that as a child in a family riddled with drug and alcohol abuse, I chose his example of sobriety over the other alternatives.  (That, and I also promised Grandma that I wouldn't go down that path)  There was the time that he and Dad were working together in Nevada and Dad was crushed by a Caterpillar SC-727 scraper.  Uncle Dan was the only one that remained calm that day and saved Dad's life.  There were the countless times over the next 2 years where he would open his home to me to make sure that I wasn't all alone, and had food in my stomach.  Years later, he would again open his home to me and while the end of that arrangement was not good and I'll not discuss with anyone, that final conversation was the single most important and powerfully driving factor in creating my will power and determination.  Any success that I have had in my life or will be fortunate enough to have in the future is due in part to Uncle Dan and that specific conversation.

Thank you Uncle Dan, for being a friend and father figure in times of need, not only for me, but for our entire family.  Though I mourn the loss of you today, I'll keep in memory the best times and teachings and pass them on to the best of my ability.  I love you.